Everyone feels anxious sometimes. Anxiety becomes a problem when it shows up often, lasts a long time or keeps you from things you want or need to do. One of the most widely used approaches for it is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT.
The idea behind CBT
CBT starts from a simple observation: what we think, how we feel and what we do are linked. Change one and the others shift. Anxious feelings are often fed by thoughts that arrive fast and sound certain, such as “I’m going to embarrass myself” or “Something is wrong.”
Three questions for an anxious thought
- What is the evidence for this thought, and what is the evidence against it?
- What would I say to a friend who had this thought?
- If the thing I fear did happen, how would I cope?
The goal is not to replace worry with forced positive thinking. It is to arrive at a view that fits the facts, which is usually less frightening than the first thought.
The role of avoidance
Avoiding what makes you anxious brings quick relief, and that relief teaches the brain that the situation really was dangerous. Over time, life gets smaller. CBT usually includes facing feared situations in small, planned steps, so you learn from experience that you can handle them.
What you can try now
- Write down a worry, then answer the three questions above.
- Slow your breathing: in through the nose, out longer than in, for a few minutes.
- Pick one small thing you have been avoiding and do it this week.
If anxiety is getting in the way of your work, sleep or relationships, counseling can help. These skills are easier to learn with someone guiding you.