Dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT, was developed to help people whose emotions feel overwhelming. It is built around skills that can be learned and practiced, and many people find them useful whether or not they are in DBT. Here is a brief introduction to its four skill areas.
1. Mindfulness
Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment without judging it. Try it for one minute: notice your breath, the sounds around you and what you feel in your body. When your mind wanders, bring it back. The skill is in the returning.
2. Distress tolerance
Some moments cannot be fixed right away. They can only be gotten through without making things worse. Changing your body’s state helps: hold something cold, splash cold water on your face, or breathe out slowly. The urge to act on a strong feeling usually passes if you give it time.
3. Emotion regulation
Emotions are easier to manage when you understand them. Name what you are feeling as exactly as you can. Ask whether the feeling fits the facts of the situation. Basic care counts here too: sleep, regular meals and movement all make emotions steadier.
4. Interpersonal effectiveness
This area covers asking for what you need and saying no while keeping your relationships and your self-respect. A simple approach: describe the situation, say how you feel, ask clearly for what you want, and explain how it helps both of you.
Reading about skills is a start. They work best with practice and with a counselor trained in DBT to guide you. If you are in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988, or call 911.