When you are trying to build a life you are happy with, your own doubts can be the biggest obstacle. Self-doubt is common, and it can be managed. Here are five ways to quiet it.
1. Take stock of the people around you
Some people leave you feeling smaller every time you see them. You do not have to cut anyone off overnight, but notice who builds you up and who wears you down, and spend your time accordingly.
2. Set goals you can reach
Meeting a goal is proof to yourself that you can do what you set out to do. Choose a mix of short-term and long-term goals, and make them realistic. A goal set too high only hands self-doubt more evidence.
3. Forgive yourself for past mistakes
Self-doubt often has less to do with how others treat us than with what we hold against ourselves. Learning from a mistake is useful. Punishing yourself for it over and over is not.
4. Make room for your own wellbeing
Being kind to others matters. So does looking after yourself. If you always put your own needs last, stress builds, and stress makes doubt louder.
5. Find someone to help
A counselor, a mentor or a trusted friend can remind you of what you tend to forget about yourself, and help you see patterns you are too close to notice. Asking for help is a practical step, and it takes confidence to do it.